


dontlist.docx

by longwhitecoats



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Gen, In universe item, Nile and Joe are not allowed to be in charge of plans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:36:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27587564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/longwhitecoats/pseuds/longwhitecoats
Summary: Originally a word doc, now a "collaborative" google doc owned by Copley.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 58
Collections: JoyFest 2020





	dontlist.docx

**Author's Note:**

  * For [evewithanapple](https://archiveofourown.org/users/evewithanapple/gifts).



List of things Joe and Nile are no longer allowed to do ~~without supervision~~ AT ALL, Andy, you’re not helping:

  * purchase any kind of explosives
  * detonate any kind of explosives as a means of accelerating a vehicle 
    * oh come on, Copley, that one almost worked! if the back wheels hadn’t flown off it would have been perfect 
      * Joe do you even HEAR yourself
      * NO
  * convince the locals that we are throwing a “fire festival”?? i got multiple calls from film companies after that – we do NOT NEED that level of exposure 
    * what kind of fire festival are we talking, like burning offerings to apollo or? 
      * no Andy it’s like 
        * NILE I GOT THIS
        * Andy it’s a Bacchanal for assholes
    * why did we reject that idea again? 
      * search me I thought it was a great cover story 
        * Nile just because you understand the internet doesn’t mean you can involve thousands of weird tourists in our plans
    * it worked, didn’t it 
      * that is NOT the point
  * attach bungee cords to ANY landmarks without prior approval, ESPECIALLY world heritage sites!! 
    * wait you mean the cathedral? i remember when they built that. world heritage my ass, that thing is ugly as heck 
      * Andy the aesthetics are not the point
    * this is Nicky 
      * Nicky you are SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE 
        * Nicky’s got a point, it’s fuck ugly
      * FINE. ONLY BUNGEE OFF UGLY MONUMENTS I GUESS.
  * release seagulls into crowded areas as a distraction!! why do i even have to say this!! 
    * okay mea culpa, i read about that on tumbler and i thought it would be funny 
      * Joe, stop listening to Nile, she is a bad influence 
        * I’m a beautiful influence. anyway it was hilarious
    * it was funny until they stole my fried potatoes :(
    * beloved i will buy you so many potatoes do not cry
  * involve ANY KIND of local dance group in our getaway plan 
    * Hold up, okay, that one was genius. They covered our tracks and absolutely no one got hurt. Show some respect. 
      * Yeah Nile is right, what was wrong with that one? 
        * ugh
        * It took me a WEEK to get the glitter out of my clothes
        * but yes okay fine I admit it was clever
    * I love glitter :) 
      * Nile wait did you buy the glitter???
      * Nile?????????
  * definitely NEVER under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES



Copley?

I think we lost him

oh no he’s fine :)

Nile what did you do

i sent him several informative links about the dangers of a Millennial prank called Rick Rolling :)

is he watching them all?

i think he’s weeping

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to dr_whom for the beta.
> 
> Evewithanapple, your prompt made me laugh -- I hope you enjoy this treat!


End file.
